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I hate how children get to have absolutely no privacy or autonomy (bodily or otherwise) in the name of "parental rights" and protecting them. Discord recently introduced a feature that would allow parents to have a dashboard that lets them see who their kids are talking to and when and like — that would have actually made my life horribly worse when I was a teenager and my only friends were kids from a writing server online and I had to keep it secret from my mom because she didn't think online friends were real and that it was unhealthy to have them (despite her homeschooling me in the middle of a retirement suburb so I couldn't really make friends elsewhere). It would have actually probably led to the death or homelessness of one of my friends, who found me, and supportive people, and that she was trans, through that writer's discord. Fuck parental controls.

Edit: I've seen a couple people now come into my mentions echoing the exact rhetoric that I am railing against here — saying that we need to have these kinds of privacy robbing autonomy destroying controls over children's lives in order to protect them properly from predators — as if they haven't read this thread and think that just precisely restating the things that I am arguing against is some kind of response. Just echoing this disgusting rhetoric. Those people are basically getting instantly blocked and honestly they're doing everyone a great service by showing who they are.

This entry was edited (1 year ago)
in reply to novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

Like, to elaborate — children are still humans, and they still deserve, uh, human rights??

Also, like, the answer to keeping your kid safe on the internet is not insane invasive surveillance that will make them paranoid and secretive and resentful, it's being open and nonjudgmental and accepting with them so they'll want to tell you everything major that happens in their lives themselves, and sitting down and having serious, detailed conversations about how to e.g. spot sexual abuse and grooming. This empowers them.

But see, parental controls aren't actually used to keep kids safe. They're used to censor and control kids worlds, so that parents can use them like little dolls, trying to mold and shape them through the flow of information to create the person they want instead of letting the kid decide who they are based on full information themselves. Parental controls like these are used not to protect kids, but by parents who don't want them finding out gay people exist, or atheists.

in reply to novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

@anarchopunk girl 🏴🏳️‍⚧️ This will be much better than the topic you raised. It's a good thing that my grandmother didn't realize about such possibilities at the time. She controlled my mom since childhood and tried to do the same with me. I imagine what a nightmare would be waiting for me with THIS...
in reply to novatorine 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

I grew up in the BBS era. My parents had no idea what I was doing or who I was talking to directly, but we’re involved enough in my life to get a feel for my dangers and prepare me for them well. This served me well in life as a whole. I turned out fine without the policing. My own kids turned out fine too. Maybe if there were better parents, or if they didn’t expect a computer (or someone else, generally) to do this work for them, we’d be in a better position?
in reply to ringmaster

@ringmaster
My experience growing up was similar. I bought my own computer at 13 and got a modem by the time I was 14. My parents' primary complaint with me using BBSes was more financial because of call charges etc.

Not once did they try to spy on what I was doing, online or offline. Instead they did their best to give me the skills and values to navigate life and then trusted that I would use those skills while occasionally making mistakes along the way like all teenagers do.

@anarchopunk girl 🏴🏳️‍⚧️

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